The most common form of marital embezzlement occurs when one spouse skims funds from a joint account, or conceals the receipt of certain family income and subsequently stashes, gives away, gambles away or spends these funds without the knowledge or consent of the other partner. Most commonly, it is done in a systematic way where over a long period of time, say fifteen years, a certain percentage of the family’s income, say 10%-20% can add up to well over $100,000.00 even in a family that gets by on a modest income.
I’m not only an expert on marital embezzlement…I’m a victim ....read more
Some years ago, an elegant Southern gentleman approached me about his dental practice. He and his wife were the very picture of proper, classy Southerners. They were getting older, looking forward to retirement, and contemplating selling the practice to an associate. But they had just a few teeny little concerns they wanted to talk over with me first.
The associate looking to buy them out was their son-in-law. They liked the idea of keeping the practice in the family, but the associate and their daughter had been having marital problems.
“Hold on,” I told them. “Your daughter’s marriage troubles are a totally separate issue from selling your practice.” It’s rarely a good idea to confuse financial decisions with personal relationships.
The couple exchanged significant glances. The elegant gentleman sighed. “If only it were that easy.” He went on to explain that he and his wife suspected their son-in-law was having an affair with the front desk manager.
“Well,” I said, “It sounds like you might want to let the front desk manager go.”
Another look passed between the couple. “There’s more,” he told me. He admitted that he was afraid his son-in-law and the front desk manager were working together to embezzle large sums of money from the practice. In fact, he suspected they were trying to steal enough money to buy the practice.
I was dumbstruck. I’m rarely at a loss for words, and, in my earlier days, I rarely turned down a client. But this soap opera was just too much! I gave the couple what advice I could and told them I was regretfully not able to take them on as clients.
Then I ran as fast as I could in the other direction! And said a little prayer for how blissfully simple my life is in comparison to that mess.
by Jim Du Molin
I can't blame you there Jim. Some people are blessed with lives that are simple and relatively untouched by such scandal and cruelty. The trade off is, it can make them unqualified to lend assistance to those unfortunate people, who in real life, have the kinda shit happen to them that writers base those stupid soap opera plots. The police can only do so much, especially in marital embezzlement situations, and adultery cases (which is a form of embezzlement) where it becomes the issue of divorce lawyers. That son-in-law, along with the front desk manager, need to be thrown down the stairs. But who ya gonna find to do that job?
First of all, they would need a reason to make another person's problem, their problem, and essentially fight another battle. The good thing about bad people is they make a lot of enemies. So, you could (or hire a p.i. to) seek out some of those people and make one of those pacts with them: If my enemy is your enemy then you are my friend. Otherwise, who else might you ask that in their right mind wouldn't be running for the hills right behind Jim? If you offer a person money to throw these douche bags down the stairs, well, that's breaking the law. Likewise, throwing someone down the stairs is illegal -I think they call it felony assault and battery depending on the injuries sustained.
Alas, this backstabbing, cheating, embezzling, gruesome twosome, my two ex wives, my cousin's widow, and this home-wrecking bunny-boiler from my Bible study all need to be thrown down the stairs, yet it's expensive and illegal. I would be willing, but unfortunately, I'm unable to because for financial and religious reasons I limit my violence to one misdemeanor assault and battery per year. I've never been convicted of a felony, I'm proud to say. Now, if it sounds like I'm not speaking metaphorically about throwing people down stairs...I'll start now:
Take the home-wrecking-bunny-boiler from my Bible study for instance. I did nothing illegal when I stood at the top of the stairs, provoked her to attack me with some simple words of wit and truth, and when she pounced, bearing fangs, claws extended, ready to rip me to shreds, I got all Tai-Chi and gracefully stepped to the side and watched that bitch go tumblin' down. This is how you get these douche bags. How to get in their door is a trade secret, I could tell you, but then I would have to -get paid.
This is what private investigators do. To some extent, so do public investigators i.e.: State Police Detectives, F.B.I., C.I.A.. A private investigator worth his salt would be able to do a lot with these circumstances. He could probably recover some of the embezzled money, definitely put a stop to it, and maybe even get some initial evidence that could get the police involved and bring charges against the low-lifes. You stick to your day job Jim, and offer up prayers for the blessings of peace and tranquility yourself and your family have enjoyed over many years. But next time, refer people like that poor, classy southern couple to me.
I’m not only an expert on marital embezzlement…I’m a victim ....read more
Family Business Embezzlement
Some years ago, an elegant Southern gentleman approached me about his dental practice. He and his wife were the very picture of proper, classy Southerners. They were getting older, looking forward to retirement, and contemplating selling the practice to an associate. But they had just a few teeny little concerns they wanted to talk over with me first.
The associate looking to buy them out was their son-in-law. They liked the idea of keeping the practice in the family, but the associate and their daughter had been having marital problems.“Hold on,” I told them. “Your daughter’s marriage troubles are a totally separate issue from selling your practice.” It’s rarely a good idea to confuse financial decisions with personal relationships.
The couple exchanged significant glances. The elegant gentleman sighed. “If only it were that easy.” He went on to explain that he and his wife suspected their son-in-law was having an affair with the front desk manager.
“Well,” I said, “It sounds like you might want to let the front desk manager go.”
Another look passed between the couple. “There’s more,” he told me. He admitted that he was afraid his son-in-law and the front desk manager were working together to embezzle large sums of money from the practice. In fact, he suspected they were trying to steal enough money to buy the practice.
I was dumbstruck. I’m rarely at a loss for words, and, in my earlier days, I rarely turned down a client. But this soap opera was just too much! I gave the couple what advice I could and told them I was regretfully not able to take them on as clients.
Then I ran as fast as I could in the other direction! And said a little prayer for how blissfully simple my life is in comparison to that mess.
by Jim Du Molin
I can't blame you there Jim. Some people are blessed with lives that are simple and relatively untouched by such scandal and cruelty. The trade off is, it can make them unqualified to lend assistance to those unfortunate people, who in real life, have the kinda shit happen to them that writers base those stupid soap opera plots. The police can only do so much, especially in marital embezzlement situations, and adultery cases (which is a form of embezzlement) where it becomes the issue of divorce lawyers. That son-in-law, along with the front desk manager, need to be thrown down the stairs. But who ya gonna find to do that job?
First of all, they would need a reason to make another person's problem, their problem, and essentially fight another battle. The good thing about bad people is they make a lot of enemies. So, you could (or hire a p.i. to) seek out some of those people and make one of those pacts with them: If my enemy is your enemy then you are my friend. Otherwise, who else might you ask that in their right mind wouldn't be running for the hills right behind Jim? If you offer a person money to throw these douche bags down the stairs, well, that's breaking the law. Likewise, throwing someone down the stairs is illegal -I think they call it felony assault and battery depending on the injuries sustained.
Alas, this backstabbing, cheating, embezzling, gruesome twosome, my two ex wives, my cousin's widow, and this home-wrecking bunny-boiler from my Bible study all need to be thrown down the stairs, yet it's expensive and illegal. I would be willing, but unfortunately, I'm unable to because for financial and religious reasons I limit my violence to one misdemeanor assault and battery per year. I've never been convicted of a felony, I'm proud to say. Now, if it sounds like I'm not speaking metaphorically about throwing people down stairs...I'll start now:
Take the home-wrecking-bunny-boiler from my Bible study for instance. I did nothing illegal when I stood at the top of the stairs, provoked her to attack me with some simple words of wit and truth, and when she pounced, bearing fangs, claws extended, ready to rip me to shreds, I got all Tai-Chi and gracefully stepped to the side and watched that bitch go tumblin' down. This is how you get these douche bags. How to get in their door is a trade secret, I could tell you, but then I would have to -get paid.
This is what private investigators do. To some extent, so do public investigators i.e.: State Police Detectives, F.B.I., C.I.A.. A private investigator worth his salt would be able to do a lot with these circumstances. He could probably recover some of the embezzled money, definitely put a stop to it, and maybe even get some initial evidence that could get the police involved and bring charges against the low-lifes. You stick to your day job Jim, and offer up prayers for the blessings of peace and tranquility yourself and your family have enjoyed over many years. But next time, refer people like that poor, classy southern couple to me.
